A Cristmas Story, for You and Me
'Twas the week after Election Day and all through the land,
All the votes had been counted, some recounted by hand,
They counted and counted, recounted some more,
But Bush/Cheney was ahead, and not Leiberman or Gore.
The Florida democrats had caused quite a stir,
When their candidate of choice had lost it, for sure.
They wouldn't admit to their narrow defeat,
So they demanded a hand count or the election repeat!
"It's not fair, it's a lie, it can't be!" They all shouted,
And they whined and they fussed and they cried and they pouted,
"The ballots were confusing, we punched the wrong chad!"
But the rest of the country knew they were just mad.
They were made to look stupid, all the fuss that they made,
When a child could have done it without any aid.
The ballot was simple, there is no excuse,
So why put our country through all this abuse?
And just when we thought all the media was through,
Who should appear but ol' "you know who,"
A man with no eyebrows, as stiff as a tree,
(Some even believe that's what he might be)!
With a voice loud as thunder, he called to us all,
"You ain't seen nothing yet! I won't take the fall!
I'll fight till the death, I will not give in!
We'll recount every ballot until I DO win!"
Then, to his advisors he turned without shame,
He whistled and shouted and called them by name,
"Now, Wexler! Now, Daley! Now Dershowitz, go!
"On Warren, On Jessie! Let's give quite a show!"
"To the top of the votes! Drop Bush to his knees!
Edit those ballots, no matter the sleaze!
So pull out your votamatics and don't drop the ball,
Dash away! Dash away! Cast away! All!"
More faster than lightening, their forces they grew,
And before very long, they had quite a crew,
They tore at the laws, the Constitution they shredded,
And walking thin lines they brazenly treaded.
"Recount by hand!" (but just counties Gore leads in)
"Who cares about Harris? She's a 'hack' beyond reason!"
So they grabbed at the ballots, the chads everywhere,
The Supreme Court Judges did not seem to care.
And throughout it all, Gore continued to say,
"It's the Will of the People! They must have their way."
So the electoral votes all hung in the breeze,
Who would have thought they'd get caught in palm trees?
The media ran ramped, they couldn't understand,
Why the popular vote winner may not run this land.
Then Hillary Clinton decided to speak,
(the media hadn't looked at her in maybe a week).
"As my first act of duty, when I'm sworn in by oath,
I'll change the Constitution, our democracy...both!
The Electoral College should be put to bed,
Our Founding Fathers have long since been dead!"
The more folks discuss it the angrier they grow,
Just who are these democrats and what do they know?
This could have been over a year or so ago,
No law suits, no bickering, no fires to diffuse,
No sweating bullets during Election Day news.
If they'd packed up Bill Clinton, and sent him by bus,
Al Gore would have replaced him, without all this fuss!
They made their own bed, in it they should lie,
But why must the rest of us curl up and die?
Clintons and Gore, you've done quite enough,
Let our country be, we're sick of your stuff!
It's time to fix up all the messes they've made,
Their corruption, their lies, the tax dollars we've paid.
Perhaps now our country will lean more to "The Right,"
So, Happy Election Day to All, and to All a Good Fight!